Lately, I find myself missing Carol as I did in the days following her death. Not the gut-wretching, cannot sleep, wishing I would die kind of missing her but rather the kind where I look at the calendar, or feel the chill in the air, or another Friday evening kinda miss her.
I am sure that others who are widowed "get that" but it is how I am feeling lately. I might add that Carol died over two years ago and I feel like it was just yesterday that I kissed her goodbye as we went off to work, that I kissed her goodbye when she was "declared brain dead" at 1:15 PM on September 14, 2004.
Carol, I love you and always will. I miss you more and more each day.
I wonder if it ever gets easier???
Please feel free to post your thoughts or comments.
Regards,
Ron
8 comments:
Ron, I don't know if it ever gets easier. Everyone says it's "different," but that's not the same as "easier." I have been grieving for my lost love a whole month longer than you have ... so I'll let you know how it works, okay?
I think it's great that you have started writing about these important things. I know that it can be so hard to talk about our loss and continuing pain, even with -- especially with? -- those we are close to.
I wish you well on your journey and look forward to reading more.
-- Pentha
btw, may I add a link to your blog on mine?
Pentha,
First, yes you can link the blogs. I am lucky I figured out how to create this blog and get it to work. Maybe I can figure out how the links work too
I lost the mate 1/25/06. I guess that makes me a newbie.
I have often comforted myself with the thought that the mate would not have been able to deal with our separation as well as I can. That by being the "survivor" I kind of took the bullet for him.
I think men are so used to having to disquise their feelings that when one overcomes them they have no way to deal with it well and it just leaves them reeling and lost.
I have been stumbling and lost, too, but I know the way back is possible. You are headed the right direction, forward. Head down, one foot after the other, against the wind, but forward.
You can do it.
ps
It's not that I don't miss him every day and every night it's still a struggle to go to bed alone, it's that I know he loves me still and wants me to be happy.
To be happy here I have to keep moving on away from the time we had together and find other things and people than him to be happy about and with.
One of the things the loss of his constant presence and love has given me is the knowledge of the love others have for me, too. I was blinded to that or took it for granted too much before. Now I appreciate love from others much more each day.
Ron,
I go through waves of missing Joe so bad that I can bartely breathe. Then I'll go weeks without thinking about hime that much at all.
I think the further away we get from them dying, the easier it gets. But then we get scared that we're "losing" them, and revert back to missing them like they just died.
Keep writing!
-b
Ron, I lost my husband on November 14, 2004 - we are very close in our losses. It doesn't get easier - life moves on, raw grief subsides and then blindsides one when you least expect it - I too wish you well - I would like to link my blog to yours too - Take care and be gentle with yourself - I will visit again. Suzann
Ron,My grief began July 2, 2002 when I lossed my soulmate,love of my life,best friend, father of my childern,the only one in my life that ever new me . We could just look into each others eyes and know what each other were thinking.
I don't think I will ever stop missing him ,togeather we were one person without him I am missing half of myself.How do you ever stop missing that?
I look forward to reading more.
--Shirley
Hi!
My wife passed away two weeks ago today - February 8, 2008. She died from metastic breast cancer. She was diagnosed back in August 2007. Yes, the stuff happened that fast.
I am just starting to miss Tina. My two kids have been rocks - I have been the mush. I cannot imagine ever NOT missing Tina.
I am meeting with a counselor tomorrow morning. I hope it goes well. Wish me luck!
Post a Comment