Music is my friend

Right now music is my only comfort. Listening to the “Forrest Gump” sound track as I write this entry. Much of the music from that movie is from my childhood and teen years.

I am such a lost puppy right about now. I want so much for Carol to be by my side with a conflicting side story of deep love that would not be possible without her death. THIS really sucks!!!!! My widow friends GET IT, but the rest of the world is DGI about such matters. (BIG SIGH).

How do I resolve that conflict in my feeble little mind, oh and toss in a measure of uncertainty about my second love and I am a total mess. My SO “might” move which in my mind spells the end. Oh, the dread in my mind, the thought of that loss is unspeakable. I REALLY LOVE HER. I really hope it works out but there is only so much that we can control (crossed fingers and heart).

Back to my music.

Ron

Can I Sleep In Your Arms?

Can I Sleep in Your Arms?



Can I sleep in your arms, tonight, lady?
It's so cold lyin' here all alone.
An' I have no hold to hold on you.
An', I assure you, I'll do you no wrong.

Don't know why, but the one I love left me.
Left me lonely an' cold an' so weak.
And I need someone's arms to hold me.
Till I'm strong enough to get back on my feet.

Can I sleep in your arms, tonight, lady?
It's so cold lyin' here all alone.
An' I have no hold to hold on you.
An', I assure you, I'll do you no wrong.

Can I sleep in your arms, tonight, lady?
It's so cold lyin' here all alone.
And I have no hold to hold on you.
An', I assure you, I'll do you no wrong.

I have always been a huge fan of Willie Nelson’s music and this song has a significant place in my grief journey. I cannot believe that the first time I heard this particular song until after Carol’s death. It was one of those profound moments that I will never forget.

As the third anniversary of Carol’s death closes in on me, I find myself turning to music for comfort. Music has brought me joy and comfort since my childhood. I would do almost anything to go back and relive those years, kinda a “do-over” but reality sinks in and I know that just ain’t a happenin’ thing. Oh well, I can dream.

For anyone reading this, I am just rambling about some of the random garbage running through my widow brain. I am determined to toss my “stuff” onto this blog and if it silly who cares if makes me feel better. I feel better.

September 14, 2007 will be 3 years since she died

I have not blogged for a long time. My life and mood since my dear Carol died has been much like a roller coaster, UP and DOWN. I bought a Harley and focused on "being cool" until my back gave out.

My new focus is on facing my grief and "fixing" things in my life that I feel are out of whack. OH that is a long list. More on that later (well maybe).

I have given up the Harley per Dr's orders and found a new hobby. Time to sell that toy and replace it with other toys. Why do I need toys? Did I ever grow up or am I trying to "replace" my loss? That is a struggle for me. There is no hobby that can replace my dear wife.

I feel I am making progress, well at least a little. This blog update is a start. Progress!!! That works for me, for now.

Ron