Right now music is my only comfort. Listening to the “Forrest Gump” sound track as I write this entry. Much of the music from that movie is from my childhood and teen years.
I am such a lost puppy right about now. I want so much for Carol to be by my side with a conflicting side story of deep love that would not be possible without her death. THIS really sucks!!!!! My widow friends GET IT, but the rest of the world is DGI about such matters. (BIG SIGH).
How do I resolve that conflict in my feeble little mind, oh and toss in a measure of uncertainty about my second love and I am a total mess. My SO “might” move which in my mind spells the end. Oh, the dread in my mind, the thought of that loss is unspeakable. I REALLY LOVE HER. I really hope it works out but there is only so much that we can control (crossed fingers and heart).
Back to my music.
Ron
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3 comments:
Ron,
You, like me, are living the conundrum of the widowed: the love, happiness and joy of today only came at the cost of losing a life partner. Most of the time, I manage it just by "living in the moment - a moment at a time".
There are times that I wish things could have been different for me - that she had not died. Not yet; not 'til we were old. But things are not different - they are what they are. So, we have to make the best of each new day.
There are things that we can control. Assess what is most important to you in your life and then adjust or adapt accordingly. Where we live is just a place. What we do for a living, just a job. Many of these things are changeable and if you really want something, you CAN make it happen.
Take care. My sympathies on your upcoming 3 year Remembrance day for Carol.
Also a young widower
Rob
Ron,
good to see you are back in Blog Land. Hope this will do you good to write your thoughts down.
Love ya!
Tanja
Ron,
She loves you, as you love her. Neither distance nor death destroy love. All will be well.
Hugs,
Sally
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