Sunday, January 06, 2008

Guilt

I feel guilt. I feel like I betrayed Carol. She died in September 2004. In February 2005, I met a widow online and we chatted and it was good for both of us.

We ended up meeting months later and it felt good. It was good, that lasted almost 2 and half years, but that guilt ate away. I tried not to let is show, but it stated to show.

Things began to decay, It broke me. I still feel that guilt.

Did I betray my wife? Did I just try to "replace" her? Did I hurt the other person?

I think the answer to all of the above is yes. Guilt, more guilt. I am so sorry for the things I have done. I have so much guilt, but I tried my best. Still feel guilt.
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3 comments:

Ann said...

I think the answer to the first two questions is probably "no" but you are not going to agree because you need to feel bad about it for some reason. You are not betraying someone by living after they are gone. And you aren't replacing someone by loving someone again after your spouse has died. You didn't do anything wrong in those respects. Stop beating yourself up.

10:48 PM
~TigereyeSal~ said...

Survivors will always feel guilt after a death, but that does not mean that you, or any other survivor, has done something wrong. I believe it means that you are good, honourable and loving. Bad people feel neither responsibility nor guilt.

Sally

11:06 PM
Anonymous said...

If you died first, would you want or expect your wife to remain lonely. I don't think so.....

A

6:40 PM

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