It has been a long day and I am tired. First, the therapist then the memorial service for my friend Cecil. It just seemed to suck the life out of me. I was relieved that the funeral home chose an area far from where Carol’s service had been held, so I avoided that wing of the building.
Visit with therapist was hard but good. She started by asking "what is bothering you today?" The floodgates opened up, after all isn’t that I am there? She uses the metaphor that our lives are a series of bricks cemented together, some good, some not so much. They are all intertwined and part of who we are yada yada yada….. OK, I get that, so what is your point? Let me hammer out the bad bricks and replace them, purge them from my being. Seems it doesn’t work like, well that is just wrong.
Anyway we come to an agreement of sorts, at least for now. I can mess with "MY" blocks any effing way I please, OK now we are making progress, and I am getting my way. Not really, that is not the point, but I will look at them, stare at them, curse some of them, hate some of them, embrace some of them, cherish some. Wonder what the hell to do with a few. I want to break Humpty Dumpty’s ass and put him back together the way I want him to be. Wrong again!!!!
For now, some of her bricks bother me, so where do I go with that? Some of them bother me even more, now what? I have decided that a few get covered with signs that say "OUT OF ORDER" while a few others get a sign that says "UNDER CONSTRUCTION".
OK enough about me, I need opinions please. I was talking to some people at Cecil’s Memorial and our club had asked that "in lieu of flowers,contributions be made to our club", then after talking to members, I find out that Cecil’s widow couldn’t even afford to pay for his funeral. His kids chipped in to pay. Then I find out that a fund is set up for Cecil’s widow. (sidenote: our club has plenty of money).
I would rather help Cecil’s widow than my club (although there are rumors that whatever the club collects, they will donate it to Cecil’s widow). Should I donate directly to Cecil’s widow?
Just wondering what you would do?
Thanks,
Ron
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3 comments:
Your heart won't steer you wrong. If you want to be sure she gets it, give it to her yourself.
I would check with whoever is coordinate the club fund; if he can confirm it's going to the widow, give to that fund, because that is how you knew Cecil, where you bonded with him. Being part of that group has been good for you, and contributing to the group fund helps cement that bond.
If the coordinator can't/won't confirm that it's going to the widow, give to the other one.
That's my 2 pennies.
And remember in addition to money, she could probably use help with errands, home repair, and other things Cecil used to do.
And just having someone around to talk with (especially a recent widower like yourself).
R
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