Dear Bank of America......

You recently declined me credit because of my former spouse's actions in 1995. I recounted those events and you still declined me credit. My FICO score is currently 761. That is better than most, even after an ugly divorce.

You can do as you wich and since the internet is a free place to tell the world the truth, I can tell anyone and everyone that your company SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You can "Lick my nutsack" and since my blind mother currently banks with you Morons, I will drive her to Regions bank after the holidays so she can move her money out of your bank. If you really wanted to deny credit to someone, you should go after my deadbeat ex-wife, you apparently would rather hold me accountable for her bad debts after over 13 years of divorce.

The nice thing about the internet and blogging is that I tell the entire world that you SUCK and there is nothing you can do to stop me.

The day Bank of America goes under will be a good day. Your company BLOWS.

I need "Some Beach"

It is officially winter in the midwest. I just got off the highway after spending hours in traffic jams due to ice on the roads. Five hours to go 50 miles and I need "Some Beach".....or may not....maybe just warmer than 19 with ice would work.

Mustang Killer

Yeah, I am a speed freak and I spanked another "lame" stock Mustang GT today. I put my snow tires on yesterday so my 300C looks like a normal 300, but the "kid" in the Mustang got a NASTY surprise from this car. It has a 5.7 Hemi with a "Cold air" induction system and an exhuast system that will fool most takers. HA HA to lame 'Stangs'

Snow shoes:




SRT Tires:




Cold Air system:



Warning that this is a rather "NASTY" car:



Pipes that are hard to see but can be heard when the foot stomps on the gas:




This is one "BAD SRT" you really don't wanna mess with, the part I like is it doesn't look fast but you nail the gas and the HEMI just goes.

Innocent looking:



I know most reader have no clue what "SRT" means so here it is.....for Dodge/Crysler it means "Special Racing Team" and seeing this car go proves it, yet staying off the throttle nets 25-26 MPG on the road......




It works for me!!!!

GM is about to go "Under", I wonder why?

On my way home tonight, I passed a GMC Envoy, I would guess a 2007 or newer model with a burned out headlight. A car/truck less than two years old with a burnout light.

If I owned it, I would be really pissed. The word on the street is that General Motors is going down soon. I am guessing it might have something to do with the "quality" of product they produce. I have owned my share of GM built products and the one thing I always had problems with was electrical and lighting problems.

Back in the 70's when I was a mechanic that was one of the most common problems we saw with GM cars, lighting and electical issues, some 25 years later they still have the same issues. Some things never cahnge, or do they? Yeah, the company is almost out of business, I think people are sick of crappy cars.

Although my car was built in Cananda and sayes Chyrsler, it is 100% Mercedes desighned, I am proud to be a German. I just hope my lights don't burn out any time soon. Good luck GM.

Same stuff......different day

Ugh, more of the same. It is early in the day but it looks like another bad day on Wall Street.

DJIA
8,704
-131.73 -1.49%S&P 500
902.25
-9.04 -0.99%NASDAQ
1,554
-42.56 -2.67%NYSE
5,579
-137.28 -2.40%

UPDATE.......it gets worse


8,572
-263.63 -2.98%S&P 500
878.10
-33.19 -3.64%NASDAQ
1,530
-66.35 -4.16%NYSE
5,487
-229.07 -4.01%

Glad I am out, if you didn't bail when the market was good, hang on as it will improve it will just take time.

Holy ekkkkkkkkkkkkk the markets are going down!!!

The futures look bad. I bailed out when the Dow was around 13K, it is down to 8Kish and dropping like a rock.....the world markets are taking a bath. Wal-mart is blaming currucy conversions and Intel is taking a bath.

The markets all look bad but they will rebound eventually and when they do I will buy back my shares but until then I will sit on the sidelines.

I hate Bank of America

They did something so shocking that I closed my account and will never do business with them no matter what they change their name to next week.

Since this is a public blog I cannot share any details, but they know what they did and shame on them. I might even call the BBB and file a complaint.

So Bank of America, I hope you see this and know I am waving my middle finger at you morons.

For my "LADY"

This blog has evolved from one of grief to one of passion. I write about things I love (mostly) Jennifer, but also fast cars......financial news........my wonderful puppy (big sigh) Yes, Penny I love you even when you are a royal pain in the ass.

This post is for "My Lady"......Jennifer, who has brought joy and happiness to my life. I love you Sweetie!!!!!

Black Friday

This graph shows the last six month how the DOW has tracked. All the economic indicators were there as early as January and signs finally hit the markets like a freight train. I wish the news was better but it is not. In my opinion, panic selling is driving this downturn as people try to cut their losses when in reality their hitting the panic button will cost them more over time and the savvy investors will cherry pick the markets for bargains once this crisis passes. That is my plan anyway.

Markets Overview

DJIA
8,451
-128.00 -1.49%

S&P 500
899.22
-10.70 -1.18%

NASDAQ
1,650
+4.39 +0.27%

NYSE
5,704
-105.85 -1.82%

Bad News!!!!!!

DJIA
8,579.19 -678.91

NASDAQ
1,645.12 -95.21

S&P
909.92 -75.02

Today’s numbers…pretty bad. If these trends continue, we will be at post 9/11 numbers pretty quickly. The short sellers have been shut down, DUH, they were making fortunes on a falling market. I bailed from the stock market back when the DOW was around 13.5 AGAINST my planners advice, if you stayed in, my advice is "ride it out" if you can. It will come back eventually.
Where is the bottom? Nobody really knows but when it hits bottom, I will buy back what I had at a handsome discount and profit nicely. I hope you are all watching the markets daily, I am looking for another 1987!!!!! THAT was ugly, just watch your money please.
Please be careful, our economy is "iffy" at best…..I think it is going to get much before it gets better. Good luck.
Ron

Quick Silver!!!!!

That is what Jennifer named my new car!!!! QUICK SILVER and it is bad to the bone. It will run the quarter mile in less than 13 seconds, that is one effing fast four door sedan. I am pleased with my new HOT ROD. This car runs like a RAPED APE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oppsy, my tires slipped!!!!

That is gunna leave a mark!!!!! Close to 400 HP will do that.

For Jennifer!!!!!

Black Betty

she will get it!!!!!!

Kiss my Glock

OK, I admit Ted is a little over the top, but at least he says what he thinks....and he has some really cools guns and he can shoot too. I guess I am twisted but I really like the guy, we are probably both on some "watch list", oh well, KISS MY GLOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

Just one more reason I love Ted Nugent

He still rocks after all these years, and gets trashed for his beliefs.....Rock on
Ted!!!!

Some more awesome Ted......

Life is funky (not fair)

Yes life is not fair:

The love of my life will have been dead four years in a short time, September 14 to be exact. Carol died September 14, 2004. I will always miss her.

Four years later, I am engaged to be married!!! Her Ring is perfect, she picked it out and I must say WOW, it is stunning. In my wildest dreams, I never thought I would get married again, but I am.

We were planning for April or June of 09, but as time goes by I think it will be sooner, and much colder(BRRRRRRRRRRR) We shall see but either way, I will be happy. Jennifer makes me happy!!!

Song of the day

I love Toby Keith.....so here is the song of the day.

Maytag BLOWS

I will NEVER buy another Maytag appliance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They were bouhgt out a few years ago but still they can piss in my boots. I have an electric range that has had a problem since "DAY ONE" and they refuse to fix it (they do say there is a problem with that model). BIG FUCKING DEAL Maytag. Suck my nut sack!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your Company BLOWS........

They won't fix it so they can lick me.....that POS goes out with a HUGE sign (as I promished them) When my Maytag Dishwaher, and my Neptune Washer and Dryer die, piss up a rope.....my money will not got to your Company.

Maytag BLOWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I KNOW why I am not a plumber!!!!!!!

I have not posted for a while for a number of reasons, mostly because half the time my Internet connection is either down or slower than "dial-up" (I hate my Internet provider). Anyway, beyond that issue, I have been too busy so I just have not been online much.

Earlier today, I was going to take my mother to the post office and some other stores she needed to stop at, no biggie. Then she asked "while you are here, could you look at my bathroom faucet? The cold water knob won't come on". "Sure, mom, No Problem". UGH, I figure I can put in a new water valve (an easy fix, right?) NOT. The valve is frozen, so I try to turn off the shut off valve so I can remove it.

That is when the fun began, the water shut off is also frozen. OK, SCREW IT. "Mom, where is your main water shut off? She doesn't have a clue. I find the main and turn off the water to her house, then I get the big pliers out to shut off the valve under the sink. SNAP, the effing valve breaks, OH SHIT!!!!! I explain that I need to replace both valves AND the faucet......off to the home center for parts.....

Now, with parts in hand I rip the whole thing apart and install new parts, BUT the sink is "kinda rusty", I put it back together but I just know this piece of SHIT is going to leak....sure enough it did. "Mom, your sink is rusted out and I can't fix it tonight, I will try to find you a new one, but it is late and I cannot fix it tonight".

Off I go to Home Depot for a new sink. I find one, buy it and tomorrow I will rip it all back apart, tear the rusty, leaky sink out and start over. She will have a nifty new sink, new faucet, new braided supply lines, new shut off valves, basically the whole mess will be brand new.

It will be fixed correctly BUT now I KNOW WHY I am not a plumber!!!!

Happy Trails,


Ron

For Mark and Carol

Music speaks to me, so I seem to post music videos on my blog. Lately, I have been thinking about lost loved ones.....mostly Carol but I have lost other loved ones as we all have. I know Jennifer thinks of Mark often and we both miss our spouses, so this song is for Carol and Mark, we will see you when God calls us to Heaven.



For other widow(er)s who listen to the words to this song, I hope it brings you comfort and peace. I always liked this song even before I "knew" death.

If only life were this simple.........

I always loved this song and associated it with good times in my life. Unfortunately, if assholes could fly, my life would be an airport right now.

Penny, my new Doberman

"Can I have another treat please?"


"Let's play Dad"




Penny and Oscar, her Bichon buddy playing "Hey that's MY TOY, give it back". They are great friends and play well together.

For my Sweetie!!!!

Yes Penny......this is all about you!!!!! I am so happy you came into my life.

Radar Love

Enough said.......just how I feel this morning.....



One person will "get it"

Life is good.......

Words that would not have rolled off my tongue nearly four years ago, I simply wanted to curl up and die. I have lived and learned so much since September 14, 2004...the day my true love died.

Carol, I will always love you but you were called to Heaven much to early. One day we shall meet again and I have no idea what it will be like but I know it will be much better than the pain and suffering here on Earth. So until then, just know that I love you and miss you but......I must make the best of what is left here for me.

I have a new doggie, her name is Penny. I am certain she was a gift from God. I have a new Lady in my life, her name is Jennifer, I am certain she is also a gift from God.

Life is good.....but I still miss you.

These songs are for Carol, Jennifer and Penny......I love you all!!!

Tuesday Afternoon

Beyond the obvious, can you tell I am bored? Must be something about Tuesdays.

My next Toy

Yup, I am getting one.

For Jennifer..............

Not much to say.......will let the music say it for me.......



PS:I LOVE YOU

This is Friggin' Hysterical!!!

This was e-mailed to me by a person that is almost as demented as me.

This is the greatest application .....what a guy!!! He should live to be a really old fella with that attitude!

This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Walmart in Benton Arkansas.They hired him because he was so funny.....


NAME: Kenneth Way (Grumpy Old Bastard)

SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman (or at least one who will cooperate)

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available . If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first placeï

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING your last job.: It licked

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?:Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment .

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?:Of what

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?:I think the more appropriate question here would be 'Do you have a car that runs?'

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no On my breaks - yes!

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb oversexed blonde supermodel with great breasts who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

NEAREST RELATIVE......17 miles

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?:Oh yes, absolutely.

Another sleepless night

More strange dreams, this one was vivid and I remember details. I have been awake since 3 am trying to figure out what the hell it means.

I wouldn't call it a nightmare but just weird, how can people from different years in one's life come together into a dream? My ex-wife, my kids, Carol and my stepsons, Jennifer and her kids and my new Dobie (that I will not get until Friday) WTF?

Most nights I seem to sleep just fine but not tonight (this morning), is it being a widower? Is it, is it, is it?

Who knows, but yesterday was a wonderful day and perhaps knowing that the weather today is going to crappy plays. UGH, maybe I can still catch a few winks before sunrise.

Strange, very strange.

The new Lady in my life.

She is a beautiful four year old Dobie. She recently lost her home and I am adopting her. I should be able to begin being her "dad" in about a week, she needs to be spayed before coming to live with me. Here are some photos of my new lady. Here name is Nicki and I cannot wait to have her living with me.

A song about my mother's neighbor

Blowin' off more steam

Awake early again, trying to blow off some steam. I am sick of people trying to get a free ride off of others. I hope when I get to my mother's house later today that her SCUMBAG neighbor is not home because I might just kick his sorry ass.

Instincts always seem correct, I didn't like him from day one and it proved right. I just need to set him straight. I shouldn't be put in this position but I cannot stand around while he takes advantage of my mother. I will do what must be done.

Back to blowin' off some steam........



BTW, Anyone remember this group or song? Nevermind, guess I am getting old, LOL. Name that group and song. Let me make it even harder, name that truck, doubt anyone can but go ahead, the insignia is in the video (OK,OK not fair because I used to work on those Gawdam monsters) Ugh, I hated trucks and their flat tires.

Sorry to be short but.........

As promised I am following up:

1) I miss Jennifer, enough to make me sad and pissy.
2) My stepson only calls for money, last time I looked my forehead did not say "The Bank of Ron", sorry but I am out of that business Nick.
3) I need to help my mother, her "helpful" neighbor is taking advantage of her.

I would and could say much more but I cannot or will not.

Ron

Strange Weekend

I am pondering my weekend with mixed emotions, overall wonderful but with a couple catches. I will write about the entire thing later but for now I need to listen to some LOUD music from my college days and think about it all.
Namely:

1) I had a wonderful weekend with Jennifer.
2) I received yet another demand for cash from my stepsons.
3) My mother was taken advantage of by one of her "douche bag" neighbors.



More later when I verbalize my emotions and decide what to do.

One of my last good memories of Carol

I guess this is turning into a video blog but who cares? I recall holding Carol's hand while this song played on the radio in her new "kick ass" SUV that I bought her...oh how I wish we could have that again.



I really miss that sassy woman!!!

Almost 4 years later, I have my hands full!!!

Bad Dreams...........

For the past few weeks I have been having nightmares.....waking between 2 am and 4 am and I am just weak and tired. They never make sence, and I cannot recall detail once wide awake.

I try to go back to sleep but in the end I am just exhausted!!!



Sandman............PLEASE GO AWAY!!!!! No wonder I sleep with a 9MM, yet you cannot shoot and kill things in your head. I hate bad dreams, time to load the shotgun I guess.

And more music, this kicks ass!!!!

'nuff said



JENNIFER!!! You know exactly what that means.

Just enjoying music these days

Not much to say, just enjoying the warm weather and good music



Life can still be good even after losing my dear Carol.

Changes.................

Changes…………widowhood changes us. We all know it but we all move through it differently. I am not the same person I was when Carol died. I have been to Hell and back since she died but I survived and today I can laugh, cry, remember her, cherish her and not feel bad about feeling good about my “new life”.
I know Carol would want me to be happy, and I am trying to do just that. That is what I would want for her if I had died.

The last few months more changes, more changes, I hate change but this is different. Changes that I can handle from day to day. Just tiny little things such as better weather, less stress, more music, spring blossoms, new friends, letting go of certain things in my life and a new person that can put up with the likes of me, Prayers answered?

I have a new female in my life, her name is Jennifer and she makes me laugh more than ever since Carol died and that is a change I like. Remember I hate change but I need to roll with this……it is different. She is a very special, a caring Lady that somehow “gets” me, and for that I am grateful.

So, my point is change is not always bad (other than losing our spouse) but for now I will enjoy this new change in my life……



There it is, it for the whole world to see but especially for you Jennifer.

Stupid lawnmower!!!

I posted the following on the YWBB:

"Yesterday, I rolled out the riding mower that we bought right after we got married and engage the mowing deck and SNAP the belt breaks. I put it back in the garage and go in search of the owner’s manual. I determined that trying to fix it myself was out of the question.

I look at the receipt, and a flood of emotions rolls out. I could see Carol driving the stupid thing around the yard and court with glee, she wouldn’t mow but she sure enjoyed driving the damned thing. Now the mower is in the shop and if I am lucky I will get back in (drum roll) a month.

The grief or just the memories really choked me up, she died almost four years ago and silly things can still kick me in gut.

Stupid lawn mower did it this time."

GRIEF SUCKS

Only a gay man would act like this........

I love the Rolling Stones but Mick Jagger must be gay........



Ya think? Sorry Mick the tights just don't work for me and what is up with the "fake package"? I bet your groupies are shocked when they see the needle.

I got tagged by Lisa so here goes..............

What I was doing 10 years ago – 1998
1) Proposed to Carol in May
2) Married Carol on October, 10
3) Went to court because my ex wanted more $$$$
4) Bought another rental property
5) Had a wonderful "first" Christmas with Carol and the boys


Five things on my to-do list today
1)Make said to-do list, LOL
2) Called my Doctor
3) Loaded and actually ran the dishwasher
4) Laundry
5)Checked on my mother
****Did all of them, BTW

Snacks I enjoy
1) Popcorn
2) Peanuts
3) Smoked Almonds
4) Chips and Salsa
5) Pie (not telling what kind though)

Things I would do if I were a billionaire
1) Buy a few fast (make that really fast) cars
2) Tell Bill Gates to shove Windows up his ass (would offer to help)
3) Would "set my mother up for life"
4) Sponsor the "MOTHER OF ALL BAGOS", everyone invited
5) Start a scholarship in Carol’s name for kids of widows and widowers

Five of my bad habits
1) I eat way too much junk food
2) I crash too many R/C Airplanes
3) Did I mention I eat way too much junk food?
4) I still smoke, GRRRRRRRRRRR
5) I drive like a maniac and just had to pay for a speeding ticket

Five places I have lived
1) California
2) Kansas
3) Iowa
4) Florida
5) Missouri

Five jobs I've had
1) Mechanic (in high school)
2) Body shop worker (in college)
3) Restaurant manager (first job out of college)
4) A ton of jobs for Fortune 500 Food Company
5) Landlord

Five people I taggeed:
1) Anniegirl
2) Rob
3) Chris (I would have done Nancy but I think she was already marked)
4) Laurazoo
5) Kurt

Time marches on!!!!

Not sleeping well again, not sure why, is it grief? Wish I knew, I wake up wondering lately. I wonder and try to figure it out. When Carol first died, I found myself sleepless often but always found someone to chat with even in the wee hours of the night.

Those people are gone from my life and I wish them the best, perhaps their grief has past. I sometimes wonder why people whom comforted us after our loss just go away, but they do. Many of the people that helped me through my early grief have just gone from my life. I grieve losing them; they really helped me through my darkest hours.

This time last year I was meeting my former SO in the place we first met, just about halfway geographically at the time. Memories I will never forget…..all good memories.

Fast forward to today, that is gone and I have a new SO, I love her and am hopeful for a future with her. We laugh, we cry, mostly we laugh, she is wonderful. My biggest concern is that while I am going to hit four years soon, she is a bit behind me time wise in her grief. I just think time will tell….but as widowed I think we are all hopeful….I am hopefull.

Ron

Spring "to do" list

Spring is here; nice thunderstorm at 3 am kept me awake. Ron is going to need a nap and what a perfect day for one, misty rainy yucky outside. I need to make a “to do” list for spring:

--- Change oil and rotate tires on my truck
--- Wash my truck and get winter salt off
--- Change oil and install new belts on riding mower
--- Buy fresh fuel for mowers, trimmer, leaf blower
--- Fix the chain saw so I can…..
--- Trim Carol’s “AWFUL” plants behind the deck (secretly still hoping it will kill the damned things)
--- Drain the hot tub and refill with fresh water UGH!!
--- Clean and organize the garage AGAIN!!!
--- Probably mow next weekend
--- Go flying, or crash another plane

I really do love spring

For our brave soldiers......may you kick ass and take names

A video dedicated to our brave soldiers, kick ass and take names or just kick some ass guys. My son will soon be deployed and I pray for his safety.......so for all our troops. This vid is for your

Happy Easter

I wanted to wish anyone that stops by Happy Easter!

I enjoyed spending the day with my mother. We talked about Carol and much we miss her, Mom wanted to visit her grave in spite of the cold and rain so I took her and she just lost it. I think she needed a good cry. I am worried about my Mom’s health, she is almost 73 and has a number of health issues. She is always tired and insists she won’t be around much longer. I just wonder if there is "something" she is not telling me and I worry.

I wish I could have spent the day with my Sweetie, but she went to her sister’s for a family gathering there. Maybe next year

Feel free to add me to your blog, and let me know if you would like me to add your blog

If you want to add me to you blog....feel free. If you want me to add you to mine, leave a comment with a link and I will add you to mine. I enjoy so many blogs and have learned much from so many. Below is what I posted on the YWBB.
---------------------------------
To fellow widow/widower bloggers, I read and “lurk” on many blogs. I would like to add links from my blog to other widow blogs but will not do that without permission of the blog owners.

If you wish (or don’t mind me adding) a link to your blog, either post a link here or send me a PM. For those of you that want to add a link to mine, feel free. I find the collective of our thoughts comforting and many of us post thoughts that either do not belong on the YWBB or we hesitate to post there.

If you want me to add a link to your blog, either post a link here or PM.

Ron

More of my sick and twisted humor

You will either love or hate this video. If you love it, you have joined the ranks of the sick and twisted and if not, go read a boring blog (J/K).

My new toy

I doubt this will interest most but I love flying remote control airplanes. I seem to crash more than I fly but I still love the hobby. I recently bought a new plane but the damned thing has a "glitch", cheap electronics, I had to exchange the first two and the third proved equally inferior with "glitching".

"glitching" means that the receiver on the plane picks up interference that causes problems controlling the plane, thus it jumps around. The company that builds the models denies that a problem exists but just put the bird in the air and watch it “glitch”. No big deal if you have enough altitude but upon landing or low altitude fun you risk a crash.

I finally installed new electronics, 2.4 Spektrum to be exact. A damned computer system!!!!! Still have not figured it all out yet but it worked better than the cheap crap that comes with the plane “out of the box”

Anyway, here is a cool video of someone flying the same plane, I love this model. Very cool for a cheap toy.

3 1/2 years ago today.

Three and a half years ago today, the love of my life died. It is hard to believe it is possible that much time has passed and I am still standing. She was the woman I planned to grow old with. I will grow old (however long that is) with fond memories of her though. I will always love you Carol.

It is hard to believe just how much has changed since she died. I had a relationship that lasted over two years. Ultimately that ended but it was comforting at the time and I have no regrets. It showed me that I could love and be loved again. I learned many things about grief and myself (some good, some not so much) but I am sure Carol would have approved.

I am now in a second relationship since Carol’s death and I have no clue where it will go but it feels right and I am sure Carol would approve.

One thing I know for sure is that Carol is with me always, right here in my heart. I love you Carol.

LOUD and PROUD.....Part 2

More LOUD music and Cars......it is what I am about. Carol never bitched when I gave her a Corvette ragtop for her birthday. She never complained about my need for speed, although I was very practical "most" of the time. She did love the 'Vette I gave her, that woman could shift gears faster than most men, all six.

Smart Blonde chick that can run a Corvette to over a 100 MPH, yup Ron is just a putty in her hands. Carol, this is all about you and my missing you dear.......I will always love you

LOUD and PROUD.......a blast from my youth.

Today I just needed to revisit my youth and this song is a favorite. It reminds me of my carefree days when LOUD music, FAST cars, FASTER girls and cold beer were what I lived for. I was a rowdy one, but I sure as hell had some fun. If you like Lynyrd Skynyrd you will enjoy this video. Come on CRANK IT UP, you know you want to.


This was what I drove back in those days, or should I say RACED. I still love fast cars.

The Spring of my widowhood

On the eve of spring, I have been thinking about the seasons and grief. I have always loved spring and fall. Summer is fine but the humidity here can be brutal. I never much liked winter because I hate cold weather.

As the seasons relate to my grief, I think I am finally beginning to feel like it is spring in my life. A time when things begin to grow. Flowers bloom, the grass greens up, the trees blossom and regain their leaves. It is a time of renewal. After 3 ½ years being a widower and I am finally feeling some renewal in my life. I feel alive once again. I met Carol in the spring of the year and although I miss her now as spring approaches, my heart is not heavy with grief as it once was.

This fall, Carol will have been gone for four years. I hope this fall at four years that I can remember her with a smile and the sadness of losing her will not cloud the beauty that fall brings and that she so dearly loved.

The market did it again, go figure?

Dow
-146.70
-1.22%
11,893.69
NASDAQ
-8.01
-0.36%
2,212.49
S&P
-10.97
-0.84%
1,293.37

I know this is going to sound awful but since I bailed out at 13K I want the market to drop like a rocket. When it is stable again (I think it will tank around 10ish) then I will come back and reap a harvest.

Yup, I am a Bear right now. When the market changes, I will become a Bull again. What difference does it make either I growl or I am full of shit? Been told both many times, LOL, and I know both are true. Bear......Bull.....either way just keep an eye out.

Today I say bear, tomorrow is another day where it could change to Bull or Bullshit. Oh wait.....now it is Saturday, we have to wait a few days for it to start over again......damn.

More rantings tomorrow, assuming I am still kicking (OK morbid widow humor). One sleeplesss widower signing off in the wee hours, but I promise I will be back to "mess" with you again.

Ron

Watch your piggy banks

Crude oil hit another record high overnight, almost $106 a barrel!!!! Seems it doesn’t take much to make the market jittery these days. This happened on news of a bombing of a military recruiting center near Times Square and uncertainty as to what OPEC might do with production.

The US Dollar hit another low against the Euro as well. I guess we will be shipping cheaper goods overseas? But what can we ship out? US companies have already moved operations out of the US. I am amazed that anyone here even has a job. One of these days we will all work for Wal-Mart.

The financial markets are not looking so hot either, so I think the Dow and Nasdaq will close lower today and will close lower for the week again. Watch your piggy bank folks.

-------------

Edited to add today's market closings:

Dow 12040.39 -214.60 -1.75%
Nasdaq 2222.50 -52.31 -2.3 %
S & P 500 1304.34 -29.36 -2.2%

Don't speed in Illinois

I was unlucky enough to get a speeding ticket in Illinois last week. A fine member of the Illinois State Police using a Laser Gun just happened to nail me doing 80 MPH in a 65 MPH zone. The fine is not that bad, $75.00 but in order to avoid points they are requiring "driving school".

I have three choices, (A) just pay the fine and take the points. (B) Admit guilt, attend said "driving school" and they will not assess points or (C) ask for a trial (Yeah, right).

So the hassle is trying to figure out how to fulfill the damned "driving school" requirements without driving back to Illinois. Now I must talk to the prosecutor in the county where I got nailed to see if I can take an approved course online, or take on locally that they will honor.

Don’t speed in Illinois!!!!!!! What a pain in the ass.

Sleepless in St. Louis

It is 5 am and the rain woke me up. Carol loved hearing the rain hitting the skylights in our bedroom. She loved the sunshine, rain, snow........it really didn't matter to her what the weather was doing, she enjoyed living.

I sit her missing her and wonder why God is putting me through this Hell called being a widower and I realize that there are so many others in the same boat. The rain hits me again and again, I want it to stop because it reminds me of what I have lost.....my dear wife who loved the sound of the rain. I know I am not alone here, I read other's thoughts on the YWBB and widow blogs and I am once again reminded that I am not special ,yet I want that status.

I want to feel loved again. I want to be held again, I know I can be loved again. Love comes with a price but still we crave it and I have loved after Carol and I have no regrets. I fell in love with a widow after Carol died and I really loved that lady but it didn't work out, lots of reasons but she still holds a special place in my heart, Yes Alicia I will always love you.

I do feel loved by "Q", not ready to reveal who she is but I am sure she feels the same. Back to bed, the rain stopped. I still miss Carol.

I needed to cry today so..............

I listened to this Alan Jackson song again.



Today was one of those beautiful days that Carol always loved. As I was driving along I began to wonder what we would have been doing together. My heart began to ache for Carol again and for the things we didn't get to do since she died that awful day in September 2004.

Thank you Carol for all the love and thanks Alan for helping the tears flow as I continue to grieve the loss of my beloved wife.

Any Stargate SG-1 fans?

I am a huge fan of Stargate SG-1 but I have not had cable TV since I married Carol in 1998 (long story for another post). Anyway, I can catch occasional reruns on broadcast but cannot get my "fix". I borrowed the first nine seasons on DVD from a friend last year and just recently returned the collection. (BTW, thanks for the loan).

Today, I bought season 1 at Wal-Mart and plan to buy all 10 seasons over the next few months. I don’t watch much TV but I do enjoy certain shows and Stargate SG-1 is one of my favorites. I will be happy when I have all 10 seasons.

I also have the first 3 seasons of Stargate Atlantis, which I like even more, but season 4 is not due out until around October 2008. I hope it runs as long as Stargate SG-1.

Any other fans out there?

Ron

Or Maybe I want one of these Bad Boys?????

I have Muscle Cars on the brain lately. I doubt I will buy one but it sure is fun to look and dream at what is on the way.

-----------------------------

Just to prove that German automakers aren't the only ones who plan products based on what their rivals have done, GM comes out with the Camaro--a retro-styled, two-door coupe with a honking big V-8 that harks back to the glory days of Motown. If that sounds familiar, that's exactly what Ford did with the Mustang. Hot on the heels of the Pony car's success, DaimlerChrysler has dusted off the Challenger and Chevy has produced a new Camaro, a nameplate that was more recently interred. The muscular Camaro concept is pure '69 updated, with the kind of subtle detailing that makes it look up-to-the-minute. The interior is very glitzy, and pays homage to the original, even down to the GM seat belt insignia and the twin instrument pods.
The car is 186.2 inches long and rides on a 110.5-inch wheelbase. The wheels are 21s at the front and 22s at the rear, shod with monster 275/30 front and 305/30 rear tires, which should be able to corral the 400 horses from the LS2 6.0-liter V-8 engine powering through a six-speed manual transmission. The show car has a cobbled together chassis with an all-independent suspension, but if it makes it into production, it will use the so-called Zeta Lite architecture that will be shared with Holden in Australia. The good news for GM is that the architecture--while hardly cutting edge--is far more sophisticated than the live-axle Mustang. Insiders say that a $20,000 base model production car could use an inexpensive V-8 (the LS2 would come in a costlier model), so a V-6 version would be offered only to make the car easier to insure. The real car would have smaller wheels, but the overall diameter of the tires wouldn't be much changed. GM vice-chairman and product czar Bob Lutz apparently loves it and joked on the show stand "all I have to do is persuade this man"--referring to GM CEO Rick Wagoner--"to pay for it."

2008 Dodge Challenger and I want one!!!!!!

Chrysler knows the 2008 Dodge Challenger will be showing up late to the retro pony car party. The company has carefully foreshadowed the second coming of the long-nosed Hemi-powered contender since Ford proved it could sell the 1965 Mustang all over again in 2005.
Standing on the sidelines while Ford took the initial retro risk saved Chrysler the potential embarrassment of making a bad decision, but Dodge has also been using the Challenger's late arrival to tease buyers and build interest in the forthcoming muscle car. Strategically planted rumors and radical orange concept car renderings in 2005 had the public drooling for sheet metal.

First Drive: 2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8
2008 Chicago Auto Show: 2008 Dodge Challenger
New Photo of the 2008 Dodge Challenger Courtesy of AutoWeek
First Photos of the Production 2008 Challenger SRT8
2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8 Heads for eBay
Official Production Number Announced for 2008 Challenger
No Reserve: Challenger SRT8 and Shelby GT500KR To Be Auctioned at Barrett-Jackson
Dodge Takes Orders for More Than 9,000 Challenger SRT8s in First Month
2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8 Spotted in Full Production Trim
Pricing now available
IL Insider: Dodge Challenger and Chevrolet Camaro Convertibles in the Pipeline
Chrysler Poised To Cut Off Orders for 2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8
Dodge Swamped With Challenger Orders — but Hints at Expanding Production
2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8 Muscles in to Market at $37,995
Chrysler Planning To Build Only 5,000 2008 Dodge Challengers
Spy photos: 2009 Dodge Challenger prototype
Dodge Challenger Concept
Challenger on Cruise
2006 Detroit Auto Show: Dodge Challenger Concept
Drag Racing the Dodge Challenger Super Stock Concept
Dodge Challenger Future Vehicle Page


Finally, in January 2006, Dodge unveiled the Challenger Concept at the same venue that saw the debut of Ford's Concept Mustang three years prior, the North American International Auto Show.
A relatively long hood and Chrysler's characteristic gangster window line flow into widened and raised rear haunches, barely housing giant 21-inch wheels, and black stripes of unpainted carbon fiber run the length of the body. There's no disputing it — the Challenger Concept looked positively boss when the sheet was whisked off.
Soon after the car's unveiling, Inside Line visited Chrysler's Pacifica Design Studio in Carlsbad, California, where the 2008 Dodge Challenger Concept was designed. There we interviewed the two men responsible for the car's look. "Early on, we just tried to capture 'Mopar' in the designs," Mike Castiglione told us during our visit. "We tried to capture the beveled edges that were uniquely Mopar back in the muscle car days. If you look at an old Challenger or Charger, the lines have a snap to them. Once we figured that out, then we got more focused." Mike beat out two other designers for the gig and it's fair to say he was the right man for the job.
Two Challenger Concepts were built, both powered by the famous 6.1-liter Hemi V8. The first was a hot orange Challenger Concept designed to be a street car with 425 horsepower. The second, a 525-hp flat-black Challenger Super-stock concept, is shod with massive Goodyear slicks and is good for one thing — knocking off 11.0-second quarter-mile runs.
The concept cars are based on a shortened Dodge Charger platform and are topped with bodies made entirely of carbon fiber. And both are real runners. In fact, we took the orange Challenger Concept out cruising in Southern California to the famous Donut Derelicts car show. Then we drag-raced the flat-black Challenger Super-Stock Concept at the Mopars at the Strip event in Las Vegas.
The release of the 2009 Dodge Challenger won't be the first time Chrysler introduced a car at the tail end of the muscle-car craze — the original Challenger hit the streets in 1970, six years after the Ford Mustang and four after Chevy's Camaro, which will be getting its own resurgence with the release of the 2009 Chevy Camaro. There's a reason the car is named "Challenger."
Late to the party or not, the 2008 Dodge Challenger is poised to crash it. Big time.
Read more Inside Line Buzz Stations

My Dream car

I love really fast, wicked cars and this one fits the bill. The only reason I don't own one of these bad boys is because I am too practical. If money were no object, I would have one in my garage right now. They have SO MUCH power that the EPA imposed a $2,200 "Gas Guzzler" tax which is included on the window sticker. Did I mention, I love fast cars? Below is one of many reviews on this awesome beast.

--------------------------------------------

I love horsepower. I love the feel of it lingering underfoot, ready to explode into neck-snapping, stomach-churning, tire-shredding violence. I love the sound of it: the blend of Fortissississimo bellowing and heavy metal madness. I love the power of it, the ability to make "ordinary" machines look as if God grabbed their rear bumpers and yanked them backwards. Sure, my passion for accelerative overload is infantile, dangerous and about as politically correct as a 1920's minstrel show. But at least it isn't impractical or expensive. Well, not anymore.

You can now buy a four-door 425hp Chrysler 300C SRT-8 for a nickel under $40k. That's a lot of numbers. And no matter how you look at it– size, performance or style– the 300C SRT-8 is a lot of car. So let's take this road test thing nice and slow… Only we here at TTAC don't do anything "nice". And "slow" is not a word in the SRT-8's vocabulary (I have a hard time understanding it myself). So what the Hell. Let's strap in, mash the go pedal and see where it takes us.

Straight to the brake pedal. We've traveled so far so fast we need to slow down RIGHT NOW, and hope that Chrysler's Street and Racing Technology (SRT) knows as much about brakes as they do about big-bore powerplants. Fo shizzle. When caning a 425hp car weighing 4160lbs., there's no time to ponder the finer points of rotor size, "swept area", ABS, etc. It's strictly press and pray.

Did I mention that the 300C SRT-8 doesn't like to let go of its revs? Lift off the gas and there's no danger of engine braking; starving the 6.1-liter Hemi of dead dinoflagellates has about as much immediate effect as switching off the afterburners on an F15. Not to put too fine a point on it, the 300C SRT-8 is a blat - coast - blat kinda car. Oh, and the five-speed gearbox (a Mercedes E-Class hand-me-down) is as fond of kickdown as the Toyota Prius is of low revs. The big Chrysler can resist anything except acceleration.

Right. Where were we? Oh yes, in dire need of stoppage. And stop we shall. If a car is only as good as its brakes, Chrysler's flagship muscle car is a match for the very best. Both the SRT-8 and BMW's M5 require only 110 feet of pavement to slow themselves from sixty to zero. While the SRT-8's left pedal doesn't offer much in the way of initial feel, the massive anchors are powerful enough to yank you out of the trouble that the steroidal engine can oh-so-easily put you in. Now, let's try a little cornering…

Before tackling the twisties, switch off the ESP traction control. I don't usually recommend thrashing a Nanny-less sedan with 420ft.-lbs. of torque, 20" wheels and three-season tires (Vivaldi would not be pleased with that concept). But the SRT's chassis is so well sorted, the power resevoir so deep, instant and controllable, that you can drive this monster like you stole it without an electronic safety net– and not die. Simply steer with your right foot.

Muscle car aficionados know the drill. When you enter a sharp turn, throw the wheel hard over and floor it. As the rear tires spin and the back end drifts sideways, apply the appropriate amount of opposite lock with the steering wheel. Then ease off the gas, let the back end ease into line and keep on going. If it's good enough for The General Lee, it's good enough for the SRT.

Of course, Chrysler had to sacrifice a significant measure of the donor car's ride comfort. And? The supremely-engined 300C SRT-8 is aimed at G-force junkies and serious stunters. They'd consider it a badge of honor if a pothole knocked a filling loose. Alternatively, you can dismiss a rough section of road by applying max power and dryquaplaning over irregularities.

I don't mean to leave you with the impression that the Chrysler 300C SRT-8 is all about raw power. It's about raw power AND satellite radio. And a 180mph speedo, sports seats, a fearsome front spoiler, an integrated rear wing and the usual trim upgrades and performance badgery. Other than that, the 300C SRT-8 is the same gangsta-style luxobarge that's wowed press and punters alike.

Which is no bad thing. With the addition of a glorious, pumped-up Hemi and vastly improved driving dynamics, the 300C SRT-8 transforms a great car into an instant (though proletariat) classic. If you're a horsepower headcase on a budget, go on. You know you want to.

My apology to Alicia

This has proven to be far more difficult than I originally thought it would be and since this will be the last public writing about you, about us, I didn’t want to screw it up.

On a YWBB thread about "first" relationships you wrote:

" I am no longer in my "first" relationship (or any other) as a widow, but we were together for nearly 2-1/2 years, most of which was very good. Neither of us was looking for a relationship at the time, and we were so grateful when we landed in each other's laps. We helped each other through some of the worst parts of the grief journey, and we showed each other that real happiness and love are indeed possible -- something neither of us had imagined possible."

I posted to the same thread:

"My "first" post-widowed relationship was a huge mistake. Looking back, wish I had taken a pass, but we live, learn and move forward."

I hope to accomplish two things with this blog entry. First, your YWBB post accurately sums up our relationship and mine was made in anger and spite. We did have good times, we did bring each other much needed comfort and love. I really did love you.

Second, and most important I need to apologize to you for every hurtful thing I did and said both privately and publicly. Alicia, I am deeply sorry for hurting you.

I hope you will accept this apology in the spirit it was written. I wish you the very best in your future.

Sincerely,


Ron

Opportunity to improve

Do you ever attempt to hide from your mistakes or pretend they didn't happen? If so, you'll keep making the same ones over and over again.

Instead, quickly recognize and admit your mistakes. And learn to see the value in moving beyond them.

When you've found an error, you've uncovered an opportunity to improve. Take those opportunities and make those improvements.

When you discover a weakness, you've found a way to grow stronger. Overcoming a weakness in one area can make you more effective in all aspects of your life, after that weakness ceases to hold you back.

Accept that there are things you've been mistaken about, things you don't know, and things you have not been able to do.

That puts you in a position to make powerful positive improvements.

Instead of letting your mistakes and shortcomings grow more costly by denying that they exist, choose to see the real value in them.

Decide to confidently deal with them and transform your liabilities into assets.
-- Ralph Marston

---------------------

This post describes perfectly what I am trying to with my life. I will still make mistakes, just not the same ones again. That is my goal anyway.

This is TOTAL Insanity!!!!

I just saw this on 60 Minutes.

It costs our government two cents to produce a pennie and a dime to produce a nickel. I am not surprised, given all the "other" waste coming out of Washinton, DC today.

They did mention that it illegal to melt them down, lucky I abide by the law. I would start hoarding pennies and nickels for melt down. Looks like the best ROI on the planet. I bet pennies and nickels are being melted down as I write.

Only in America!!!!! When will the madness stop, Ummmm, maybe when pigs fly?

I found this uplifting for my spirit and.....

I hope you do too


What you seek is now

End the battle within yourself and you will know peace. Cease to separate one thing from another and you experience unity.

Enlightenment is not the accumulation of knowledge or wisdom. It is the full realization of what you already are.

Richness has nothing to do with material artifacts or financial transactions. It is the surrender to an abundance that has no limit.

What you seek is not somewhere else, or this or that. What you seek is now
.
The more you look for it, the more it hides from you. Relax, remember the source of your deepest yearnings, and allow yourself to know their fulfillment.
-- Ralph Marston

Job offer of sorts

Yesterday, I received a phone call from a guy that buys and sells investment properties. He has some pretty deep pockets and he wants me to "help him". He is exploiting the foreclosure market, which I have also considered myself.


I have no respect for the man as I think he would cheat his own mother if it meant another dollar in his pocket. I told him I would think about his offer and I did. Upon reflection and a good night of sleep, my answer came very easy. NO!!!!! I will not help him because he lies, cheats and steals for personal gain.


I do want to thank him however for putting my brain in gear. I know some ethical investors that might be in the same boat. Time to make some phone calls.

I hate being right, but I told you so, or warned you!!!!

I am not a "the sky is falling" kind of guy but brace yourself folks, it is falling. I bailed out of the stock market a few weeks ago. My broker advised me to stay with my program and I said NO.

I am not an expert but I do "watch" and my opionion remaims unchanced, the Dow will dip to around 10K and level off. I see recession in our future. When it bottomes out, I will jump back in.

My warning is "watch your money"!!!!!!

Health update

Many, Many friends who have supported me through my illness have been asking how I am doing, so here is an update. I do want those people to know how grateful I am for their concern and support. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I just had a CT scan on my chest and spoke to the radiologist. He said there is a "nodule" in one lung. He said it might be from the pneumonia or something more serious. He will study the films and decide the next step. If he doesn’t like what he sees he will order a PET scan which he said is more definitive than a CT study. I should know something tomorrow.


I also have an Uncle that is a radiologist and was able to get the CT scan and x-rays burned to a CD so he can evaluate the films. I am hoping for best case while bracing for worst case, but it is what it is. I will deal with whatever comes next.

I did the right thing!!!

It was really not a big deal but it made me feel good. I was on my way to see my new love interest Saturday and although the main roads were plowed and clear, I came upon an accident where few would stop and help.

A woman had skidded off the road and was stuck, and the few people that stopped to assist didn't have anything that would help this poor woman. I DID have the one thing she needed, a truck with 4WD. So I provided the "ponies" and with a tow strap, "we" dragged her car from the ditch. I say "we" because there were others that helped.

The other people that stopped to help all had regular cars that would never have pulled her from the ditch but they stopped to help, a minority but they did stop. I was appalled at all the 4 WD's that just drove by.

In the end, I stayed about 30 minutes but ya know what, it felt really good when I drove away knowing I did the right thing. I cannot believe the number of others that "could" have helped just drove by. OK I admit it was fun driving around in 4WL draggin a car outa the ditch, IMA guy, LOL.

I would do it again and again, because it's the right thing. Next time you see someone in need, please do the right thing and help them out. I am sure you will be repaid 20 times over.

Ron

Stop by and say Hi

My counter keeps going up but I have no idea who reads or how they found me. I know a few from their comments but otherwise clueless who reads.

I invite you to introduce yourself, I could use all the friends I can get. I look forward to hearing from you lurkers.

I am going out of town for the weekend and it would be nice to come home and see your comments.

Help wanted!!!!!!

I need someone to shovel snow. I have no idea how much fell but more than enough. It looks like about 10 inches.

I sure hope the snowblower will start.

Did someone say road trip?

Oh I did. Hopefully the weather will cooperate and I can go. I will be more than annoyed if I can't go. It should be a fun weekend even if it is cold outside.

Good food and friendship. I can't wait.

Where is the real Ron and what did you to him?

I actually went to bed at a reasonable hour last night and apparently slept restfully. I recall coughing some but that is getting better too. I am starting to feel human again.

For those of you that have been very sick, you might relate to that feeling. I might add, it feels damned good to finally start feeling better!!!! So for those of you out there that are "sicky", I wish you speedy recoveries.

The weather here is supposed to be decent today and then turn to crap by the end of the week (as in sleet and snow) so today is the day for me to get things done.

One last thing: keep your eye on the economy. The world markets are in turmoil and with good reason, our economy is in trouble. I bailed out of my investments last week and retreated to high ground. I still think the elevator is going down, down, down. Is GW's token tax rebate going to send you to Target or Wal-mart to spend money? Didn't think so, what an effiing idiot.

My point is, I am no expert but I bailed into consertive investments because I am convinced that the next 12 to 18 months are going to be ugly and want to pass that worry to my friends. My plan is to ride to the bottom and then jump back in.

OK, one last funny/sad note I just saw on the news, some dumb ass posted an ad on "Craigs list" for a "hit man", alrighty then, just caught a few details but "she" is now wanted and I had to laugh because CL is such a joke anyway and now they let you search out "hitmen"???? WTF is wrong with this picture?

Only in America!!!!!

Happy trails

Ron

Have not had much to post.

I guess since I am feeling much better and can actually do things outside the cyber-world I stopped posting for a few days. Truthfully, I have been distracted too.

Perhaps one day I will write about that, but not now.

Hope anyone that happens to read this is healthy and had a good weekend.

Ron

Humor warms my heart.

I have always used humor to warm my heart. If I am down, it makes me laugh and if I am up, I just laugh more. I found the following joke and I am still laughing (hard to type and laugh). Here is the joke:

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do."Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money."You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

It's funny how little things can make us feel good.

My neighbor's daughter knocks on my door this morning around 7:30 in a panic. She was late for class and couldn't get the garage door down. I grab my coat and assure her it will be fine.

It was really a minor problem and I had the door down quickly (thankfully because it was cold). Anyway, she thanked me and sped away. It made me feel good to help someone.

I know it sounds a bit silly but I am fortunate that I pretty good at fixing mechanical problems and it feels good when friends, neighbors and relatives call on me when something is broken.

The trap of Anger

Your anger hurts you much more than it affects anyone else. When your energy and awareness are tightly wrapped around anger, you're not much good for anything else.

There are many things beyond your control that can be perfectly legitimate reasons for anger. Yet the amount of time you maintain that anger is completely up to you.

The more quickly you move on, the better off you'll be. When you feel the first sensation of anger, let that be a reminder to let it go.

Anger can be useful in calling your attention to matters that require your response. But anger itself is not an effective response.

Take a slow, deep breath and remind yourself of how much more effective you can be by maintaining a positive, results-oriented approach. Decide, in a cool, calm and thoughtful manner, exactly what response would be the most powerful and valuable, and then make it happen.

Don't let the foolish, thoughtless, destructive actions of others catch you in a trap of anger. Take note of the anger, let it go, put your focus on being your best, and you'll surely emerge as a winner.


--------------------------


I found this posted on the YWBB earlier today and it brought me immediate peace. I have been struggling with a situation that was frustrating and angering me. I need to keep the words in mind on a daily basis and it will certainly help me grow through life's setbacks.

"What the hell was I thinking?"

I did something today that I really regret. No details, I just wish I hadn't done it. I guess we learn from our mistakes and boy did I make one. I actually wrote it on my calender to remind of what a lapse is judgement can result in. Learn RON LEARN, DUH.

On another front, I exited the stock market for the most part. I simply wanted to stop the bleeding. I lost my ass last week and I do not see anything that leads me to have any faith in the next 12-18 months. We are going into a recession!!!!! I was in some solid funds and will likely buy them back when the market hits bottom. I think the DOW will drop below 10,000 in the next few months. It might get worse than that.

I am going to sit on the sidelines and wait and when the time is right, I will jump back in. It is going to get ugly folks.

I will probably write more on the subject but I hope you are all bracing for bad times, they are coming. The market cycles and the elevator is going down.

Naperville, IL

Carolina said...
Ron,You are so hot, sexy, strong, confident and modest. It's no wonder every widow wants a piece of you!Carolina
6:08 PM


This is getting tiresome "Carolina", you have posted under several names.
Since my blog is public, I will feel free to post what I know about you:


Domain Name comcast.net ? (Network) IP Address 67.184.37.# (Comcast Cable) ISP Comcast Cable Location
Continent
:
North America
Country
:
United States .?a=stats&s=s26r1959&v=42&country=US&vlr=89&pg=1&r=77.?a=stats&s=s26r1959&v=42&country=US&vlr=89&pg=1&r=77(Facts)
State
:
Illinois
City
:
Naperville
Lat/Long
:
41.7511, -88.1462 (Map)
Language English (U.S.)en-us Operating System Microsoft WinXP Browser Firefox Mozilla/5.0 (Windows; U; Windows NT 5.1; en-US; rv:1.8.1.11) Gecko/20071127 Firefox/2.0.0.11 Javascript version 1.5 Monitor
Resolution
:
1280 x 1024
Color Depth
:
32 bits
Time of Visit Jan 21 2008 6:06:00 pm Last Page View Jan 21 2008 6:06:00 pm Visit Length 0 seconds Page Views 1 Referring URL http://www.ywbb.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=502224&an=0&page=0&gonew=1 Visit Entry Page http://hogsruleanddeathstinks.blogspot.com/ Visit Exit Page http://hogsruleanddeathstinks.blogspot.com/ Out Click Time Zone UTC-6:00 Visitor's Time Jan 21 2008 6:06:00 pm Visit Number 5,242

I am not going to delete your crap anymore, rather I will post it for all to see. I know you are a member of the YWBB because that is always where you come in from. If you don’t like my brand of humor, or threads I start then don’t read them.

Furthermore, Why do you read my blog?

Why do you leave comments under false names.

You mentioned in a comment that I deleted that you thought I was creepy, I must say that you are creepy. Please find someone else to bother.

If you have a beef with me, send me a PM, otherwise just go away.

My health, I am taking it back.

After last night’s adventure to the ER with this bronchitis, today I decided that once I am strong enough I will do everything I can to become healthier. I don’t mean just getting over being sick. I am (already have) been changing my lifestyle.


I have abused my body for way to many years. I have smoked for more years than I want to admit and after Carol died, I drank myself to numb the pain. I quit drinking a few months ago and that was surprisingly easy. I knew it was not the smartest thing but I did it anyway. At times, impaired, my behavior was just wrong and it hurt people I cared about. It just had to stop. I hope those I hurt will someday forgive me and realize how sorry I am. Can that happen? I just don’t know, but I hope so.


Anyway, that is no longer an issue for me. I still struggle with my addiction to nicotine. I still crave this vile substance. I am on the patch, which I guess is better than actually smoking, but it still sucks.


So I have eliminated alcohol and nicotine. Now I need to focus on nutrition and exercise. I am going to join a gym and hire a personal trainer (at least to start). I will do whatever the PT tells me, I hope they can also help me with nutrition. I am sure a good one will be able to help with that.

If anyone who reads this has any ideas or tips, PLEASE share, I could use all the help I can get.

Saturday evening in the ER

As some know, I am still fighting bronchitis. This morning when I woke up my chest felt tight, I blew it off as caused by coughing during the night. I took it easy but noticed just a lap around the house and I was having a hard time breathing.

I finally knew I was in trouble and had my neighbor drive me to the ER about 6:00 PM. After hours of needles, IV drugs, X-rays, EKGs, well you get the idea, they sent me home with prescriptions and instructions to follow up with my MD Monday.

I am not complaining, although I am sure it sounds like but I just cannot seem to shake this illness. What is most troublesome for me is that people die from this. I am not that old and am still told it kills people that have otherwise been healthy.

I just want to get well.

I deleted yesterday's post because.......

Someone left a comment saying it was creepy. The post was pretty general so I was and still am puzzled as to why anyone would say that.

Anyway, if you think I am creepy or what I write is creepy go find something else to do.

I would give anything...........

A fellow blogger has been chronicling her struggles as a single parent. I understand that must be a tall order. I sympathize with her plight.


During my marriage to Carol, my youngest stepson put us through hell. He was constantly in trouble at school and with the law. We stood together and dealt with him and his bad behavior. It took lots of patience but with some stiff discipline and counseling his behavior improved. It was a team effort and there were times when either one of us was at the end of our respective ropes, we had the other to lean on.


I would give anything to go back in time and do it all over again. In fact, there was a point after Carol’s death that I seriously contemplated doing it again. I do think that being a positive force in shaping kids is something that brings me personal satisfaction.


Perhaps one day, I will have that opportunity again.

Opinions please

It has been a long day and I am tired. First, the therapist then the memorial service for my friend Cecil. It just seemed to suck the life out of me. I was relieved that the funeral home chose an area far from where Carol’s service had been held, so I avoided that wing of the building.


Visit with therapist was hard but good. She started by asking "what is bothering you today?" The floodgates opened up, after all isn’t that I am there? She uses the metaphor that our lives are a series of bricks cemented together, some good, some not so much. They are all intertwined and part of who we are yada yada yada….. OK, I get that, so what is your point? Let me hammer out the bad bricks and replace them, purge them from my being. Seems it doesn’t work like, well that is just wrong.


Anyway we come to an agreement of sorts, at least for now. I can mess with "MY" blocks any effing way I please, OK now we are making progress, and I am getting my way. Not really, that is not the point, but I will look at them, stare at them, curse some of them, hate some of them, embrace some of them, cherish some. Wonder what the hell to do with a few. I want to break Humpty Dumpty’s ass and put him back together the way I want him to be. Wrong again!!!!


For now, some of her bricks bother me, so where do I go with that? Some of them bother me even more, now what? I have decided that a few get covered with signs that say "OUT OF ORDER" while a few others get a sign that says "UNDER CONSTRUCTION".


OK enough about me, I need opinions please. I was talking to some people at Cecil’s Memorial and our club had asked that "in lieu of flowers,contributions be made to our club", then after talking to members, I find out that Cecil’s widow couldn’t even afford to pay for his funeral. His kids chipped in to pay. Then I find out that a fund is set up for Cecil’s widow. (sidenote: our club has plenty of money).


I would rather help Cecil’s widow than my club (although there are rumors that whatever the club collects, they will donate it to Cecil’s widow). Should I donate directly to Cecil’s widow?
Just wondering what you would do?


Thanks,


Ron